Crazy English, Lederer R., 1990

Crazy English, Lederer R., 1990.

   English is the most widely spoken language in the history of our planet, used in some way by at least one out of every seven human beings around the globe. Half of the world’s books are written in English, and the majority of international telephone calls are made in English, English is the language of over sixty percent of the world’s radio programs, many of them beamed, ironically, by the Russians, who know that to win friends and influence nations, they're best off using English. More than seventy percent of international mail is written and addressed in English, and eighty percent of all computer text is stored in English. English has acquired the largest vocabulary of all the world’s languages, perhaps as many as two million words, and has generated one of the noblest bodies of literature in the annals of the human race.




What’s Your Phobia?
According to the Mayan sacred book Popol Vuh, after the Creators had made the earth, carved it with mountains, valleys, and rivers, and covered it with vegetation, they formed the animals who would be guardians of the plant world and who would praise the Makers' names: “ ‘Speak, then, our names, praise us, your mother, your father. Invoke, then, Huracan, Chipi-Caculha, the Heart of Heaven, the Heart of Earth, the Creator, the Maker, the Forefathers. Speak, invoke us, adore us.’

“But the animals only hissed and screamed and cackled. They were unable to make words, and each screamed in a different way.

Contents.
I. The Strange Case of the English Language.
English Is a Crazy Language.
Confusable English.
Good Grief!.
Sesquipedalian English.
II. The Name Is the Game.
What’s Your Phobia?.
The Secrets of “Nym”.
Brand-New Eponyms.
Janus-Faced English.
A Hymn to Heteronyms.
III. Figuratively Speaking.
A Visit to the Language Zoo.
You Said a Mouthful.
Violent English.
IV. Unmechanical English.
Foxen in the Henhice.
Tense Times with Verbs.
Spellbound.
V. The Sounds of English.
Sound and Sense.
Beautiful English.
Alliteration Strikes the Nation.
Rhyme Time.
VI. English at Play.
The Play of Wards.
Anagrammatical English.
Doctor Rotcod’s Ailihphilia.
VII. The Last Word About Words.
The Antics of Semantics.



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